Mr. Not Good

Friends who know me are well-versed in my love of MF DOOM and his former group K.M.D. So it should come as no surprise that I read their album reviews. One should be surprised that a horrible review was found at Allmusicguide.com, usually a touchstone of solid criticism.

Anyways, here is a terrible review.

K.M.D. - Mr. Hood (Two stars out of five)

K.M.D. are young...and fairly politically astute...Passionate and fired-up, K.M.D.'s political aggression is founded on black nationalism. As with peers the Jungle Bros., Queen Latifah, etc., their raps strike a strong balance between simple hectoring, reason, and flat-out parody...

There is a lot of truth here, and some points are earned for the use of "hectoring". Although I'm not sure there is a lot of "aggression" involved in the album.

The recurring motif is "Mr. Hood," a dullard who appears via samples from what seems to be some kind of instructional record, clipped straight out of the Ozzie and Harriet storybook.

This is also true. A little dead for me though. I need some more content here.

K.M.D. drops mini-verbal assaults and samples that offer a context wherein Mr. Hood's "Proclamations" are rendered ludicrous...

Okay, the samples and mini-verbal assaults offer context. How about content? Isn't this a little general? Can you talk about a single song? As a hip-hop fan, you're boring-as-Coldplay review is turning me off like a light switch.

Yet for all the playfulness and urgency this disc radiates, there is still something simplistic about its rhetoric...

And that's all folks. That's it. John Dougan wrote a music review without talking about any of the music, and queasy generalizations about lyrics capped off a fantastic shitpile of words. He doesn't agree with the band's simplistic rhetoric and then trails off in thought, apparently. What an asshole. He wasted my time and yours. This is what I can say about the record in one paragraph:

K.M.D.'s first solo record, mainly composed by DOOM(then known as Zev Love X), his brother Subroc and Onyx is a great find for several reasons. The music is smooth but doesn't get caught up in the smooth R and B syrup. The production sounds modest but is quietly brilliant, bolstered by an array of percussion, fluttering and thumping bass, with guitar and keyboard samples floating in and out of the mix. A guest appearance by Brand Nubian and production help from the likes of the Stimulated Dummies helped create a community-minded sound, very relevant in the early-90's Tribe Called Quest/De La Soul NYC era. The verses are standard, but the beat sometimes goes unrecognized as the MC's ponder and muse freely. This combination of tight, smart beats and intelligent tongue-in-cheek philosophizing makes for great example of the high quality music coming out New York City in the Post-Golden Age of hip-hop.

It only took me five minutes to write this paragraph. Writing a one paragraph review doesn't take much effort, but this example shows that with a never-ending supply of records to review, even Allmusicguide.com lets awful content slip under their collective editorial noses.

Simply put, Dougan's review is a thoughtless, empty, and thoroughly frustrating turd.