Tuesday, August 14, 2007

The Pathetic Paragraph

Rob Sheffield, you're kind of funny, but you're the opposite of informative. They're paying you to write this shit, so why is it so hard? This album, Sinead O'Connor's Theology is probably garbage. But what kind of garbage?

How awesome is it being God? Not only do you get Sinead to praise you in her reggae hymn "The Glory of Jah," you get a bonus acoustic version! Damn, Jah – that's a heck of a lot of glory! If you are not Jah, however, you may lack the stomach for Sinead's megasincere tributes to Curtis Mayfield and Jesus Christ Superstar.


My readers and I know how awful this album may truly be. But guess what Rob Sheffield? You still have to review the MUSIC.

Just because you don't like it doesn't mean we shouldn't find out why it's so megasincere.

Are there sappy orchestral numbers? Plaintive, stark confessions to God accompanied only by cliched piano, or even better, harp?

Rob Sheffield, you're trying too hard to be funny. Also, because Rolling Stone finds it necessary to provide an endless dearth of horrible one paragraph "reviews", there will be a daily blog only concerning them. No Stone shall be left unturned.

Coming soon: The Curse of the Fourth Album

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