Saturday, August 11, 2007

Critics are Critics, Fans are Deranged

On the bottom of, readers are allowed to post their own ratings of the reviewed albums. One reader, named simply "coldplayfan" has caused me to fall over, brain hemorrhaging and laughing simultaneously.

By this stage, I don't see how anybody can't hate coldplay. You may call them boring, and you may call them overplayed, but that's all a load of crap.

Okay, I'm with you on that. There's nothing easier than jumping on the hater bandwagon(see previous Coldplay post).

Their songs are a huge inspiration to the world. A message has to be one of the best songs ever.

Alright, now you've gone from "coldplayfan" to "derangedcoldplayfan".

In my opinion, they are the next big Cream (minus the incredible drums, and incredible guitar), only I think they will last way longer.

My jaw hits the floor. If only I could record my voice laughing really loudly, and then post it. You'd know how much this makes me sadistically happy.

1. When you take away the incredible drums and incredible guitar from Cream, you remove Eric Clapton AND Ginger Baker. Jack Bruce is left, playing bass riffs and sometimes singing. I guess this sounds like Coldplay to derangedcoldplayfan. The arguably worst member of a super-talented group. Playing solo.

2. Also, he says that Coldplay will last way longer than Cream

Cream (1966-1969)
Coldplay(1998-2005 at the point of this review)

It's not that they WILL last longer, they HAVE.

The difference between Cream and Coldplay is that Cream made some spectacular (if somewhat dated) records before succumbing to instant fame, drugs, you know, the usual. Coldplay is boring, and it's easy to stay together when you make boring, safe, and cloying music that 12 year olds love.

More power to the 12 year olds, seriously. Who needs music critics when you can walk out of your home, enter the record store, and buy want you're interested in.

Or for that matter, turn on your computer, open itunes and get assaulted by My Chemical Romance adverts, which in turn make you listen to their music. Fun.


Shatraw said...

coldplay fucking sucks. i mean seriously. they fell out of that radiohead afterbirth which included more competent bands like supergrass and muse.

stupid coldplay.

Shatraw said...

oh, and i have a theory. my theory is that NO band who has come forward in the 21st century and has a 3-word name is any good. care to explore this? to this end, i present:

my chemical romance
fall out boy
shiny toy guns
plain white ts
yeah yeah yeahs
boys like girls
a fine frenzy

i'm sure i'm forgetting others.

they ALL suck.

Mattie-O said...

I tend to think of Supergrass as being in the wave just before Radiohead. They're dope.

Coldplay I don't really have a problem with. Mostly boring, yeah, but for weepy wussy piano ballads, you can do a lot worse than The Scientist.

And Muse blows. But not as hard as Fall Out Boy.