Several news outlets are reporting that Simon Cowell will leave American Idol. As I have yet to watch a single episode of AI, two shits are appropriately given by the author. However, I love this choice quote he released:
"I just felt like doing something new."
I would feel the same way if I were Cowell. I would get sick of making 36 million dollars a season to sit in a chair and experience people making a spectacle of themselves. All that chair sitting is painful. If I'm Simon Cowell, I DO NEED A CHANGE. SHIT, I'MA GONNA CLIMBA MOUNTAIN. Anything, anything but sit in a chair all day rolling my eyes.
And Cowell's next endeavour...hosting X Factor, a talent show where the hosts...get ready...sit in chairs for hours on end, watching people make a spectacle of themselves.
You didn't need a change, Cowell. You needed to get away from Seacrest, he of the scary shiny teeth and permanent 5 o'clock shadow.
Meanwhile, hope your buttocks are ready for MORE SITTING.