Wednesday, January 13, 2010


think of glenn beck as a panicky, overserious muppet. this will help. but once you've taken this step you should really make the time to watch his show. it airs once at 5PM (for those ancient humans who eat dinner buffets at 5PM in places that have a TV tuned to fox news), and again at 2AM (for angry insomniac crackers, cleaning their guns and waiting for the internet to put up some new porn).

normally, it's just glenn gyrating in front of a blackboard, jotting down huge dollar amounts at random, calling obama a communist (if only...), and then saying: "hello? it makes sense!" sometimes he sits at his desk and the small filipino children he has chained under there have to start earning their keep.

today is different. today he's going toe to toe for the entire hour with the hottest thing to come within ten yards of john mccain since anti-aircraft fire, sarah palin. now i don't pretend to know what is going to be said during this hour, but as an ardent beck-watcher, i can promise you it is going to be absolutely fucking insane. imagine a romantic-type chick-flick in which every role is somehow played by either chris farley or jack black.

tonight. one night only. spend an hour with glenn and sarah, two of the craziest motherfuckers this great nation has to offer.

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