Sunday, December 2, 2007

Belated Ill Tidings

I know it's been a while, but I fully intend to rip every piece of garbage review possible. Just like the following.

If you like obscure bands who happen to be great, the Raincoats are for you. Three girls who emerged out of the punk explosion with little musical experience and a distinct ignorance of gender roles in popular music. What's not to love?

This is supposed to be a full review of an album. A review that talks about the music therein.


Rough, loose-limbed, warm, and exciting, The Kitchen Tapes is everything you'd expect from the Raincoats on-stage.

Wonderfully vague adjectives to describe the general "feel" of the album. At this point I would normally add a hopeful phrase that prompts my dismay when I realize that there isn't any fucking content to this review. Guess what? No content.

Bolstered by the heavy percussion of Richard Dudanski and Derek Goddard, this recording pulsates, while the band dances around the beat tossing in shards of guitar, vocals, and violin. The liner essay by Greil Marcus is excellent.

You guessed it. That's it. That's the end of a record review. This review was written by a guy by the name of John Dougan. He believes in writing with the big picture in mind. No one would want "details" in a review, and I right? Details:

1. It's a great recording of a band in what sounds like an intimate space, so intimate you can hear the audience during quieter moments.
2. The mix comes through clear, and the band's playing is expert.
3. This is not what you'd expect from a typical Raincoats show. Have they always played with two percussionists?! No, of course they haven't.

Anyways, Dougan refers people who want to know what the record sounds like to read the liner notes. Sounds like Mr. Dougan DIDN'T EVEN LISTEN TO THE GODDAMN RECORD AND PICKED OUT ARBITRARY ADJECTIVES THAT FIT!!!

Sorry, just not a fan of such an ill-informed and disrespectful article. Three sentences that tell the listener to find the liner notes. Thanks Allmusicguide. Terrible.

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