Friday, May 21, 2010

what taco bell is kind of like

i have seen in my lifetime tens of thousands of taco bell ads. i will still not eat at taco bell for as long as i live.

thus taco bell, to me, is kind of like a guy at a bar who spends the whole night buying drinks for one lesbian.

bringing it all back home

slightly less than three years ago, i wrote a post about LCD soundsystem, particularly about one fork-head's praise of the (ahem) musician's use of "two chord songs". well, one two chord song in particular, the plodding, barely remarkable "all my friends".

we actually got a comment on that post, meaning either A) people are uniquely excited by pseudonymous blog posts about LCD soundsystem, or B) a few people used to actually read this blog before j-temp got married and i rode into town.

so here's the thing: james murphy is back with another totally insufferable album, full of stupid motherfucking two-chord songs. predictably, pitchfork thinks it's "actually pretty perfect." since each of murphy's previous efforts (entirely derivitive) were vehemently adored by lotsa critics, it's no surprise to see that very little has changed.

the fork review inhabits a world where stealing the same ideas over and over again is "fearless"; where a line like ""Love is an open book to a verse of your bad poetry" is evidence of lyrical prowess. and maybe murphy has shat out another couple of liberal arts indie/frat anthems. to me, though, making drunk people at a party dance takes about as much ingenuity as keeping a mosquito in the air.

"Murphy's vast perspective and all-knowing mien are invaluable assets to his success." ultimately it's not his ability as a musician that keeps him in such good favor with critics of all stripes. it's his "perspective", his "all-knowing mein." he is loved because he and his critics share an obsession with the same two decades of music (when all parties involved were in their twenties), and this obsession shines through in every song he writes, and in every glowing review written about him.

after all, very little is ever said about the unbelievably dull music that accompanies "murphy's vast perspective". the only time sound is ever mentioned, it's in the context of saying "he's conjuring eno" or "he's conjuring bowie" or "he's conjuring iggy pop" or "HE RIDES THE SAME DICKS I DO!!!!" these critics' lack of concern for what they're hearing is matched only by murphy's.

final line of the review: "At first, Murphy showed how to let loose without losing your cool; now he's figuring out how to break down without cracking up."

so there you have it. LCD soundsystem, athem-maker for the "lose your hair, not your self-esteem" movement. and for some reason the kids like it. this fucking country...